Akrasia

Akrasia is an introductory adventure for 3 players, that focuses mostly on combat and plot element use. The adventure area is a fairly small island, which makes for easy and believable railroading. Players intimately familiar with the internet culture should find this more entertaining.

Plot Outline

Some philosophers are travelling aboard a strawman strawship named "Mayonaise is the only good food", which runs ashore on a small island, because two strawmen couldn't decide which way to turn the ship. The philosophers will have to form a faculty to try and get the ship off the island. This should not prove easy, as there are various entities on the island that will try to get in their way. But with wit and resourcefulness, they should prevail against all dangers and be on their way soon enough.

Details & Descriptions (contains spoilers)

Locations

The Lurk - a coffee shop
This establishment sits on the beach, right where the ship crashes. It's a really obscure hangout, you've probably never heard of it. It plays music from bands that nobody has heard of, it only sells extremely expensive tap water, the clashing colors of the walls make your head hurt, the seating is uncomfortable and there's a slight smell of sun-baked plastic, barely noticable enough to be irritating. Darpaios sits there in the corner, this is his eternal punishment for bringing the people divine technology that was never meant for them - the intertubes.

The cheezburger jungle
A thicket where the cheezburger trees grow and the lolcats ride invisibul bikes freely. By beating a CRE roll of 10, philosophers will find a Killer Pun, an Epicute or An Angry. Killer Pun can be burned to deal an extra CRE on an attack. An Epicute can be used to fully restore health. An Angry can be used in combat as a free action to add +1 to your attacks for CHA turns.

The quad mountain and the tetra temple
This is the lair of the solipsist Omega. Various objects made of four coloured cubes each will litter the mountainsides, at first few and far between, but increasingly more in number and in levitation ability. They are approximately man-sized and are overgrown with moss and vines. At the top there's a deep pit with smooth sides, it is mostly filled with blocks, but there are enough gaps between them to make for a makeshift stairway. At the bottom Omega sits brooding. Before entering the pit, the faculty should be offered a chance to rest and read their treatise for levels

Advisors & Adversaries

Darpaios
He will serve as the exposition pump, telling the faculty that the only way to free him from his torment (and also free their ship from the island) is to defeat the solipsist that keeps this island real. He might warn them to not feed the troll… yeah, he should do it. They'll probably not figure that out.

Salesman ex machina
He will appear in a poof of plot, if the faculty decided to feed the troll. He'll have some Reassuring Words and Self-motivation tapes. The Words will heal 5 hit points at a price of 0.3T each. The Tapes will restore full health, but come at the steep price of 1T.

Caligula, Stalin and Jong-Il, the Postmodernist hipsters hang out at the Lurk. They like the place "ironically", just like they "ironically" name themselves after dictators. Their ultimate goal in life is to be the only fans of things that nobody else can know.
When defeated, they collectively generate 1.5 treatise for each player and drop one Obscure reference (can be used once per combat as a free action to half the enemy's defence)
They will be at The Lurk initially, leave the very moment the faculty arrives and confront them after they come out. Their shirts should read "GDE", "MOI" and "SLON"?

PoMo hipster
HP 13
CON 1, CHA 4, CRE 2

Genre Savvy - counter action
Target - self
Trigger - first defending since last turn
Roll - 2d6+CHA vs 11
Effect - On a success, you may add CHA to your defense roll.

Break the wall - standard action
Target - one opponent
Roll - 2d6+CHA vs 10
Effect - On a success the opponent suffers -1 to each of their stats until the end of their turn. Does not stack with itself.

It's Ironic - counter action
Target - self
Trigger - defending
Effect - once per combat, after you've rolled your defence, you may add the resulting damage to your HP instead of subtracting it.

Troll, wearing a "Yoo fucikng lost teh gaem" shirt. It'll come tearing through the jungle the very moment the faculty decides to press on inland. Getting rid of it should provide 0.7T. More, if the faculty is forced to feed it.

HP —
CON: 3, CRE: 0, CHA: 3

These Lumbering Behemoths that will go after whoever crosses their path, often with a net in hand to troll in their victims. Having no serious opinion on the matter, they are impossible to defeat in orthodox debate, instead the only method to defeat them is not to attack or “Feed” them for a certain period of time.

Flame Bait – Standard Action.
Target: Enemy.
Effect: If the target did not use any defence against the Troll’s attack, he will be provoked into attacking the Troll.

Short Attention Span - Passive
Target: Self
Effect: Each turn the Troll is not attacked remove one point of CHA. When the Trolls CHA drops to Zero, the Troll must leave the encounater.

Omega, the benign solipsist is actually an office worker, who fell asleep while playing tetris at work. The island and everything on it, except the faculty and their strawship, is part of his dream. The center of the island, where he lurks, is filled with tetris figures. His speech reflects his awareness of this being a dream.

HP 30
CON 10, CHA 1, CRE 3

Abilities
Projected reality - counter action
Target - environment
Trigger - CON reduced below 3 or HP <1 or Omega leaves the island
Effect - The area of reality that the Solipsist has been manifesting disappears along with the beast itself.

Master of the realm - Passive ability
Target - self
Effect - The Solipsist can auto-defend as many times per round as is deemed necessary.

This is MY world - Counter action
Target - ability
Trigger - an opponent uses a CHA-based ability against you
Effect - Once every 3 rounds you may negate the ability. This does not count as a failed roll.

Special weakness: If anyone attacks him with the words "I reject your reality and substitue my own", give them +4 on the attack, because that is just too fitting and awesome. Works only once, though.

Progression

Optimally, the faculty should enter the Lurk, talk to Darpaios, and find out everything there is to know. Afterwards leave the Lurk, meet the hipsters, defeat the hipsters, take the Obscure Reference. Then move on to the jungle, search it, advised to do so by the DM, find at least one item, meet the troll. If after this encounter they are badly battered, they should have a visit by the salesman. If anyone wants to level up, give them opportunity before facing Omega. Once Omega is slain, the island disappears, the faculty falls into the sea and are picked up by the strawship. Happy sailing commences, for now.
Since the island is concentric (sand around jungle around mountain), then there's not really much possibility for the faculty to stray. They can ignore the coffe shop and head straight for the jungle. That way they'll miss out on the hipsters and everything they'd gain from their defeat. This may or may not have catastrophic results in the final encounter.

Anything not expressly covered is free to make up on the spot.

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